Estinien doesn't quite notice Jaskier's reaction - not until it's over. It's part of the trade-off. The closer he feels to Nidhogg, the further he feels from everything else. The world around him becomes drowned out by the wyrm's song of agony, resonating with the tender wounds within his own heart that have only recently begun to heal.
He didn't mean to scare Jaskier, or to make him upset. It's just the only song he fully knew, because he'd sung it himself for so long.
As it finally fades, he can feel Nidhogg's consciousness and memory receding, allowing him room to breathe. Flashes of imagery from the eons of another life dance in the back of his mind, and it's only after he's done that he realizes how winded it has made him feel. His real, physical wings flap uncertainly before drawing in closer to him.
He turns and sees the tears on Jaskier's face. Well, the bard wanted to be moved, he guesses. He just wishes that dragonkind had happier songs to sing in recent years. Maybe sometime soon it will be better, he hopes.
"The Great Wyrm Ratatoskr was slain by the ancestors of my people," he says, in a way that feels like clumsily summarizing the meaning of an interpretive art piece. "Nidhogg... the one that lives within me... this was the song he sang to draw his bloodline to his side, to wage a war of a thousand years against the children of those that betrayed her. Ratatoskr... she was a songstress herself. Whatever songs she had to sing... they were from happier days. Days of peace. Nidhogg loved her in ways I still can't fully understand."
To love someone for so long... to be as dragons are, forever trapped in the moment.
"A dragon... does not perceive the passage of time the way we do. For them, their pain is everlasting, as raw after a millennia as the moment the wound was struck. It takes a great deal for them to heal. To move on."
It's possible, he thinks. Tiamat had broken free of her suffering before his eyes, finally finding the strength to change rather than be locked in misery for the rest of existence. Hraesvelgr had found hope in mankind again after it had been all but extinguished.
Estinien wishes he could hear them sing now instead.
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He didn't mean to scare Jaskier, or to make him upset. It's just the only song he fully knew, because he'd sung it himself for so long.
As it finally fades, he can feel Nidhogg's consciousness and memory receding, allowing him room to breathe. Flashes of imagery from the eons of another life dance in the back of his mind, and it's only after he's done that he realizes how winded it has made him feel. His real, physical wings flap uncertainly before drawing in closer to him.
He turns and sees the tears on Jaskier's face. Well, the bard wanted to be moved, he guesses. He just wishes that dragonkind had happier songs to sing in recent years. Maybe sometime soon it will be better, he hopes.
"The Great Wyrm Ratatoskr was slain by the ancestors of my people," he says, in a way that feels like clumsily summarizing the meaning of an interpretive art piece. "Nidhogg... the one that lives within me... this was the song he sang to draw his bloodline to his side, to wage a war of a thousand years against the children of those that betrayed her. Ratatoskr... she was a songstress herself. Whatever songs she had to sing... they were from happier days. Days of peace. Nidhogg loved her in ways I still can't fully understand."
To love someone for so long... to be as dragons are, forever trapped in the moment.
"A dragon... does not perceive the passage of time the way we do. For them, their pain is everlasting, as raw after a millennia as the moment the wound was struck. It takes a great deal for them to heal. To move on."
It's possible, he thinks. Tiamat had broken free of her suffering before his eyes, finally finding the strength to change rather than be locked in misery for the rest of existence. Hraesvelgr had found hope in mankind again after it had been all but extinguished.
Estinien wishes he could hear them sing now instead.