[Oh gods, don't get him started on his newest sweetheart. Karin really doesn't need to hear it. And didn't she mention they were Bonded? Haven't met both of them, actually... he thinks he can see it.
Though how Karin was under the Circle could be quite different than usual. Alice was, in some ways.]
I healed as well. There have been lasting consequences, unfortunately. Perhaps you understand what I mean.
[While she may not mean to get him started, it's difficult not to— mentioning Alice has become as natural to her as breathing at this point; her bondmate is frequently on her mind and she can't help but frequently bring her into conversations as she steadily works towards sorting out the complex nature of their relationship.]
She is. I don't know where I would be without her, honestly.
[For more reasons than the aid she had offered her in healing, of course.]
I do understand. You don't have to go into detail, if you don't want to. Something like that isn't exactly easy to just put behind you. I've been having dreams, myself.
[He feels similar. Of course he has his bonded, and Geralt certainly knows something of what he went through, but Alice -- Alice had been there in the house of the Circle, just like Karin. They understood it intrinsically. And her offerings to listen, and to help, were far beyond what she'd ever needed to offer.
He doesn't say all that. He has a feeling Karin understands. As she says herself.]
I don't mind. [Well, mostly. Not, at least, with someone who went through the same. And Karin is a Monster, isn't she? Perhaps she could help --
That certainly catches his attention. Dreams. Like his?] As have I. Can I ask what they were about, these dreams?
Some about what happened there, but more than just that. Dreams about what I could have done differently, or how things might have turned out if we hadn't gotten away.
[What it would have been like to be completely overtaken by the infection, as though despite it being purged from her body, its memory remains in her very cells.]
[Similar in some ways, but so vastly different in others. His dreams -- nightmares, really -- were of the Cwyld. Taking over him, sucking the humanity away until he was little more than the breathing, beating voice he'd heard in his head, when the infection went deepest.
But those weren't the dreams he'd meant. Not exactly. It was the ones where the Cwyld changed him, fucking up the magic that had ran through his veins, through his Bonds. Until he was a Monster.
Which wasn't fair to them, but it how else did one explain it? The Coven still couldn't, either.]
A bit. [He takes a while before he adds:] I never wanted to consider what would happen if they hadn't come for me. But no, it's not that. It's the Cwyld. The Coven assured me I was healed of it. When they took me, I was a witch. But I'm not anymore.
I think that being a witch or a monster both come with their own challenges, but if you need to talk to someone who's been through it, I know just how difficult it can be to come to terms with.
[Changing, and how much it did— or didn't— change who you were on the inside.]
I don't know that it's the Cwyld that caused it, but I don't think the source of the change matters. It's hard all the same. I haven't forgotten what it felt like.
[He's beginning to see Karin and Alice share a similar talent in their ability to chose such specific, careful words to ease fears in a man's heart. It does help. Especially because she's a monster herself -- she must have been from the beginning.]
I appreciate it. It's not an offering I take lightly.
[And he imagines her change was harder, that it didn't happen all at once as his own had. It was a slow, gradual change -- he'd seen it in Geralt. And they hadn't even known what would happen then.]
I should think I'd like to share a bit, if you're willing, perhaps over tea or lunch? Whenever you're free, of course. It'd be wonderful to see you again.
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cointosser) wrote2020-06-29 09:16 pm
no subject
I've recovered well, yes, thank you. The Coven helped, but I feel like I owe Alice the lion's share of my gratitude.
[She's an excellent and dedicated healer, not to mention good company.]
And yourself? How are you feeling?
no subject
[Oh gods, don't get him started on his newest sweetheart. Karin really doesn't need to hear it. And didn't she mention they were Bonded? Haven't met both of them, actually... he thinks he can see it.
Though how Karin was under the Circle could be quite different than usual. Alice was, in some ways.]
I healed as well. There have been lasting consequences, unfortunately. Perhaps you understand what I mean.
no subject
She is. I don't know where I would be without her, honestly.
[For more reasons than the aid she had offered her in healing, of course.]
I do understand. You don't have to go into detail, if you don't want to. Something like that isn't exactly easy to just put behind you. I've been having dreams, myself.
no subject
He doesn't say all that. He has a feeling Karin understands. As she says herself.]
I don't mind. [Well, mostly. Not, at least, with someone who went through the same. And Karin is a Monster, isn't she? Perhaps she could help --
That certainly catches his attention. Dreams. Like his?] As have I. Can I ask what they were about, these dreams?
no subject
[What it would have been like to be completely overtaken by the infection, as though despite it being purged from her body, its memory remains in her very cells.]
Do those sound like yours?
no subject
But those weren't the dreams he'd meant. Not exactly. It was the ones where the Cwyld changed him, fucking up the magic that had ran through his veins, through his Bonds. Until he was a Monster.
Which wasn't fair to them, but it how else did one explain it? The Coven still couldn't, either.]
A bit. [He takes a while before he adds:] I never wanted to consider what would happen if they hadn't come for me. But no, it's not that. It's the Cwyld. The Coven assured me I was healed of it. When they took me, I was a witch. But I'm not anymore.
no subject
There's a long pause before she responds.]
I think that being a witch or a monster both come with their own challenges, but if you need to talk to someone who's been through it, I know just how difficult it can be to come to terms with.
[Changing, and how much it did— or didn't— change who you were on the inside.]
I don't know that it's the Cwyld that caused it, but I don't think the source of the change matters. It's hard all the same. I haven't forgotten what it felt like.
no subject
I appreciate it. It's not an offering I take lightly.
[And he imagines her change was harder, that it didn't happen all at once as his own had. It was a slow, gradual change -- he'd seen it in Geralt. And they hadn't even known what would happen then.]
I should think I'd like to share a bit, if you're willing, perhaps over tea or lunch? Whenever you're free, of course. It'd be wonderful to see you again.