AEF - IC INBOX.

[cointosser]

username: COINTOSSER

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[cointosser]

[He feels similar. Of course he has his bonded, and Geralt certainly knows something of what he went through, but Alice -- Alice had been there in the house of the Circle, just like Karin. They understood it intrinsically. And her offerings to listen, and to help, were far beyond what she'd ever needed to offer.

He doesn't say all that. He has a feeling Karin understands. As she says herself.]

I don't mind. [Well, mostly. Not, at least, with someone who went through the same. And Karin is a Monster, isn't she? Perhaps she could help --

That certainly catches his attention. Dreams. Like his?] As have I. Can I ask what they were about, these dreams?

[sonnestark]

Some about what happened there, but more than just that. Dreams about what I could have done differently, or how things might have turned out if we hadn't gotten away.

[What it would have been like to be completely overtaken by the infection, as though despite it being purged from her body, its memory remains in her very cells.]

Do those sound like yours?

[cointosser]

[Similar in some ways, but so vastly different in others. His dreams -- nightmares, really -- were of the Cwyld. Taking over him, sucking the humanity away until he was little more than the breathing, beating voice he'd heard in his head, when the infection went deepest.

But those weren't the dreams he'd meant. Not exactly. It was the ones where the Cwyld changed him, fucking up the magic that had ran through his veins, through his Bonds. Until he was a Monster.

Which wasn't fair to them, but it how else did one explain it? The Coven still couldn't, either.]

A bit. [He takes a while before he adds:] I never wanted to consider what would happen if they hadn't come for me. But no, it's not that. It's the Cwyld. The Coven assured me I was healed of it. When they took me, I was a witch. But I'm not anymore.

[sonnestark]

[Oh. Now that, Alice hadn't mentioned.

There's a long pause before she responds.]

I think that being a witch or a monster both come with their own challenges, but if you need to talk to someone who's been through it, I know just how difficult it can be to come to terms with.

[Changing, and how much it did— or didn't— change who you were on the inside.]

I don't know that it's the Cwyld that caused it, but I don't think the source of the change matters. It's hard all the same. I haven't forgotten what it felt like.

[cointosser]

[He's beginning to see Karin and Alice share a similar talent in their ability to chose such specific, careful words to ease fears in a man's heart. It does help. Especially because she's a monster herself -- she must have been from the beginning.]

I appreciate it. It's not an offering I take lightly.

[And he imagines her change was harder, that it didn't happen all at once as his own had. It was a slow, gradual change -- he'd seen it in Geralt. And they hadn't even known what would happen then.]

I should think I'd like to share a bit, if you're willing, perhaps over tea or lunch? Whenever you're free, of course. It'd be wonderful to see you again.