[Jaskier pauses in the door, lute still hanging in his hands. He regards Alucard with a blink of his eyes, because -- well, he's never in his life expected to be interrogated the moment he walks in anywhere.]
Are you worried about me, Adrian? That's very sweet of you. [He places his lute down on his desk, kicking off of his boots.] I should think you know I never approach anything half-arsed.
Let's see, the last two times I had to deal with anything even remotely associated with the divine, I lost people I loved and cared about either temporarily or permanently, the latter with absolutely dire aftermath. So yes, I'm worried.
[He also knows his friend, which means the next question is:]
What put this idea into your head and how much planning have you actually done?
[Or to have Alucard so directly confront him about anything he's done. Which, to be fair, he hasn't done anything. This is mere intention. A bit fancy, a bit flighty intention.]
That's kind of you.
[Is about all he can offer in response. He does not like the idea Alucard disapproves because he sincerely believes he might die; he'd much prefer something like he was afraid of being disappointed or something.
It's a difficult thing to grip with. Melitele here and there as he might curse, Jaskier does not particularly have any thoughts on gods, besides what he believes about Abraxas.]
I know you're not trying to intend I'm going into this thoughtlessly. [He sighs, brushing a hand through his hair. Does everyone assume he's a complete fool?] There are questions I need answered, and I'm afraid the gods are the only ones who may be able to answer them.
No, I'm not. [What he suspects is Jaskier believes that this can be pulled off through good luck alone and there's no potential for it to go to shit.] Think of my concern as...what if something goes wrong in the process, or the gods aren't happy to see you, or a matter along those lines? Who do you have set at your side to help?
[He's also low key offering, but Alucard isn't there yet.] It's something where I want to make sure you're not only going to be okay, but there are multiple failsafes throughout. Imagine if one of the Heralds took full bodily control of you. Then what?
Not happy to see me? Darling, there's not been an entity alive that's not been happy to see me.
[The joke comes easily, and his humor is quite real; however, he is sober enough afterwards for the sound to grow faint. Ah. There are things as of recently he has yet to tell Alucard about. To be fair, he's still processing it himself. It's hardly nothing after the last fiasco, but...
It's given Jaskier some ideas that he may have only toyed with before the Singularity came to him again. Now, they are very real ideas.]
I think that is the nature of such things. They are, at their core, a risk. [Alucard is certainly barking up the incorrect tree. Jaskier is not a fool, but he is not spending his time coming up with a failsafe that is not guaranteed to do anything for him.
Besides, there have only been those three gods that have interfered. Of course he has fear about the whole thing, but fear can only stall a man's heart for so long. Jaskier will avoid them, but... truly, what is stopping them from returning when they wish?]
You don't even know if that is something they're capable of. I understand your fears, Alucard, but I am not imagining scenarios I have no proof of even existing. [However, the final question sends his gaze to the side, lingering on the small, round bed where Mog is currently sleeping.]
I have cause to believe the gods are Summoned from the past.
[Alucard is set to start countering every single one of Jaskier's points, to suggest that the bard humor him and just outsource the worrying and making failsafes to him but.
Okay, the theory has time. An eyebrow lifts slowly. Consideringly.]
Jaskier would, normally, taunt him about it a little, as a harmless joke. But honestly, there is nothing funny about it. If the Singularity has that sort of power... well, fuck them, right? Of course every madman around would want to control it.
And if that's why it even brought them here...
He takes a deep breath.] I have close compatriots who have very strong, very dangerous connections to the Singularity. I won't name them. Not because I don't trust you, but they have told me these things in confidence, and I have no cause to not believe them.
[If Julie or Rhy have ever spoken to Alucard of their own accord, then what's done is done. But as Jaskier promised to destroy Alucard's blood and did so when it went unused, so too will he protect their connections.] They have seen visions of gods in what we can only assume are other planes of existence. Other... spheres, I suppose. And I have seen something similar myself. These visions appear to come directly from the Singularity itself, which I've... I've spoken to the thing, in a manner of speaking. I understand this monolith is a sort of... [And here, his hands move through the air, though he's gesticulated almost every word because this, this insanity, is now proliferating nearly every day.] An entity itself. A thinking, acting creature. Itself, or something inside of it. Think about it. If the gods are connected directly to the Singularity, and only the Summoned have any connection to it beyond them, and the Singularity has granted us powers beyond what we have ever had at home... it sort of all flows together, when you think of it.
Alucard bites back the comments that rise to his throat about oh, the rock has opinions now, does it? because they're defensive and childish. Deflecting from the fact that Jaskier trusts him with this and that he's sharing things that are incredibly, incredibly private.
And that leaves him quiet for a long time. It is a lot to take in, and while he might dismiss godhood out of hand due to his own immense bias for wanting religion to just stop being so important, he can understand Jaskier's logic. One doesn't have to like a conclusion to understand how one might draw it.]
Yes, I can see how that...[Another thought jumps into his own mind.] And here I had been reflecting on the fact that the two individuals who helped us escape from Thorne have yet to ever reappear.
[Jaskier could very well be right at this rate.]
It still doesn't mean I'm not worried about an attempt like this.
[It's never a particularly good thing when Alucard has gone silent with that little knit between his brows, but Jaskier lets it settle in. Perhaps his friend will call him a crackpot, which he cannot blame him for. It is an insane theory, that the gods were once human. But, honestly... it's not like Jaskier has very much authority on the matters of deities. This is only what he has hypothesized on his own.
Gods are just very powerful demons, by definition. And is not even Jaskier himself so many more times powerful -- if one only regarded his magic -- than he was on the Continent?
Jaskier blinks, surprised. Now that... he hasn't thought of them in a long while.]
I suppose they could be gods, too.
[But if he would guess, they were only mages. Mages that were dead, probably.]
I know. It's not meant to assuage all of your fears, because I'm afraid I cannot do that. But I do want you to understand what the stakes are to me.
[Despite the stiff air that had been between them, he laughs. It's that simple, is it? Well, Jaskier doesn't like it, either, but he cannot live in this world and not know. And not be sure. Perhaps if magic had never touched him, he would not care. But it does. It does so deeply now, he does not truly recall himself without it.
If that magic changes him this much, will it continue? How much further can it go?]
As what? A witness? [He can't help but rib him a little.] I would be quite remiss to commit such an act entirely on my own. If I set up a proper ritual, once I've figured out how, you'll know. I promise.
As a research assistant and a second set of hands.
[The next part formulates as Alucard opens his mouth, the whole of the thing feeling fairly straightforward from where he sits.]
Let me help not only find the right way to do this, but plan for contingencies if something goes awry. That way you can focus on the act of this and I can account for any issues that might arise. Everyone is better prepared, which increases the chance of success.
[He laughs again, with a bit of a snort. He's hardly as scientific as all that. A research assistant. And up to this point, what has his research consisted of? Following a monster hunter on his insane excursions?
There's a bit of a method to that.
Jaskier raises a brow.] Where do you intend on researching such things? You're not intending on spending the next week in the academy's libraries, are you? And here I was ready to take it all with a healthy dose of risk.
First, by following up with Himeka and also Wanda, in case she had any perspective to give. Then going to the museums and asking about objects that might be in storage. Then actually sitting down with you and figuring out where this is going to happen and when.
Jaskier purses his lips, but to be fair, he doesn't have much objection to it. He doesn't know Wanda well and finds her rather standoffish, but Himeka he fully trusts, and he has some indication they know each other. Honestly, he trusts Himeka would very much like to keep Jaskier alive.]
Very well. I'll give you the time you need before I do anything dashing and possibly insanely dangerous. See? I've being very reasonable about all of this.
Oh. [All right, he can't stop the surprise that crosses his face. It's... it's rather nice for it to be acknowledged.] Well, yes. I do appreciate the fact you very much want me alive, after all.
[He's not going anywhere. Hopefully.]
Two, actually. [He raises one finger as he lists them:] Vimorskas, for one. A deity that Himeka has already made some sort of contact with. My information is limited, but I have some trust Himeka well enough when she says she has had positive interactions with them. A safe enough start, as a deity of nature. Considering my ability to grow and encourage flora, I feel we have some shared interests.
The second: you've surely heard my song about Lyfbringr. The tales I've heard come straight from the Solvunnites themselves. A patron saint of bountiful harvests, life, and love. Honestly, if we're being less than objective, I already feel a bit of a... connection. Perhaps they have even heard my song. I would like to think it's a good first impression.
[The dry humor is an attempt to cover up something much more real and raw, something Alucard doesn't want to delve into fully at the moment.
He considers both options. Alucard isn't surprised his friend wants to talk to a subject of a greatest hit, but it is a level of ego that somehow surprises the dhampir. Truly, it knows no bounds.
There's probably an easy way to do this.]
Perhaps it would be easiest to start with Vimorskas. With Himeka already having made contact, there is an easy route to get there and the promise of safety along with common ground. A known quantity to be sure, and you could perhaps ask about the Lyfbringr as well and get a god-to-god sense of him. Plus we could meet with Himeka in the Horizon and ask her to show us the steps.
Ah, yes, I believe picking the one less likely to turn me into a newt or something is the better choice. Even if it appears they don't really speak. Vimorskas, at least. [From what he's garnered from Himeka and his own studies.
A bit annoying Thorne was so devoid of information. Honestly, he truly would not mind a trip to Solvunn simply for access to their potential research materials. If they... well, if they even have libraries.
He's seen a bit of it, and even compared to Thorne, Solvunn can be comfortably called old-fashioned. Outdated, even.] You can't be thinking the gods will gossip about each other? [He pauses.] To be fair, that would be extremely fun.
[The look Jaskier returns to him is level, and also a bit surprised. Amused. Alucard, he should think, would be the last one to give any credence to any religious order.
Of course there are plenty of tales. But there is pa reason most on the Continent now ascribe to Melitele. For what else is there? The zealotry of the White Flame? The elves' old, long-forgotten gods? Even the monoliths were created by dwarves, not shaped by divine purpose. ]
The gods are hardly real, Alucard. Not as far as I can tell. There's plenty to believe and trust in, but I've yet to see any myself. There's monsters, prophecies -- true ones, even! -- and ghosts, and separate spheres and planes of existence. And yet the safest things to trust in are myself and my muses. As much as I once subscribed to the idea of Destiny... I don't know. It's much harder to hold onto now. And to recall the horrors I have seen -- I do not like to imagine they were decided upon long ago.
...I rather meant stories of them, but I take your point.
[It is a very practical sort of approach that Jaskier's articulated One Alucard can respect, and it explains some of the undercurrents of the bard's attempts to reach out to the supposed divine here.]
Sypha's people can send information from the future back to the past through methods I don't quite understand. I would never call that Destiny, but it's as close to the concept as I'm comfortable with. There's a lot to be said for one's own sense of certainty and choice above all other things.
Oh. [He brightens.] Well, obviously! But I thought you were being literal. Look, after my last trip to Solvunn, one cannot be too sure anymore.
[And the cultists he once accidentally stumbled upon on the Continent also spring to mind. That was a very awkward day for him. There are certainly influences of the beings the people here believe to be gods -- Adelwyrd is still a very heavy topic with him -- but he cannot imagine them as something more than creatures who have twisted chaos in ways that are extremely powerful. Perhaps near-incomprehensible.]
That is... utterly bizarre. Though I suppose that's just a prophecy with more words. And, like you, I prefer thinking of the free will of man more than what cosmic powers choose for us.
Even if they sometimes definitely choose. With a certain sense of humour.
That's a fair point. Your theory that the gods here are just older Summoned makes a number of aspects of them easier to deal with, in my opinion.
[Everyone's just human, in the end. Or at least, they were.]
In one case, I think it is just Sypha making sure we all meet each other at the right time. [All the warmth is gone at the last comment, and the dhampir lets out a soft snort.]
Destiny isn't real, until it feels like being a jester. That sounds about right.
Decidedly. For one, humans can be reasoned with. [For the most part. And if they cannot be reasoned with, they can at least be understood. And understanding people of all walks of life is Jaskier's greatest skill, if you asked him.
He doesn't see why that should be different with human... gods.
The Singularity, as the fae warned him, is different. It actually does feel incomprehensible. It is not human. An alien, sentient thing, that seems to directly control them.
So. The first step should be the simpler one.]
Well. They call Destiny a bitch for a reason. Not that I would ever lower myself to such vulgar language.
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cointosser) wrote2021-04-12 08:58 pm
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Are you worried about me, Adrian? That's very sweet of you. [He places his lute down on his desk, kicking off of his boots.] I should think you know I never approach anything half-arsed.
[Translation: oh, yeah.]
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Alucard's voice is deeply sour in response.]
Let's see, the last two times I had to deal with anything even remotely associated with the divine, I lost people I loved and cared about either temporarily or permanently, the latter with absolutely dire aftermath. So yes, I'm worried.
[He also knows his friend, which means the next question is:]
What put this idea into your head and how much planning have you actually done?
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That's kind of you.
[Is about all he can offer in response. He does not like the idea Alucard disapproves because he sincerely believes he might die; he'd much prefer something like he was afraid of being disappointed or something.
It's a difficult thing to grip with. Melitele here and there as he might curse, Jaskier does not particularly have any thoughts on gods, besides what he believes about Abraxas.]
I know you're not trying to intend I'm going into this thoughtlessly. [He sighs, brushing a hand through his hair. Does everyone assume he's a complete fool?] There are questions I need answered, and I'm afraid the gods are the only ones who may be able to answer them.
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[He's also low key offering, but Alucard isn't there yet.] It's something where I want to make sure you're not only going to be okay, but there are multiple failsafes throughout. Imagine if one of the Heralds took full bodily control of you. Then what?
[Wait.]
What questions?
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[The joke comes easily, and his humor is quite real; however, he is sober enough afterwards for the sound to grow faint. Ah. There are things as of recently he has yet to tell Alucard about. To be fair, he's still processing it himself. It's hardly nothing after the last fiasco, but...
It's given Jaskier some ideas that he may have only toyed with before the Singularity came to him again. Now, they are very real ideas.]
I think that is the nature of such things. They are, at their core, a risk. [Alucard is certainly barking up the incorrect tree. Jaskier is not a fool, but he is not spending his time coming up with a failsafe that is not guaranteed to do anything for him.
Besides, there have only been those three gods that have interfered. Of course he has fear about the whole thing, but fear can only stall a man's heart for so long. Jaskier will avoid them, but... truly, what is stopping them from returning when they wish?]
You don't even know if that is something they're capable of. I understand your fears, Alucard, but I am not imagining scenarios I have no proof of even existing. [However, the final question sends his gaze to the side, lingering on the small, round bed where Mog is currently sleeping.]
I have cause to believe the gods are Summoned from the past.
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Okay, the theory has time. An eyebrow lifts slowly. Consideringly.]
I'm listening.
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Jaskier would, normally, taunt him about it a little, as a harmless joke. But honestly, there is nothing funny about it. If the Singularity has that sort of power... well, fuck them, right? Of course every madman around would want to control it.
And if that's why it even brought them here...
He takes a deep breath.] I have close compatriots who have very strong, very dangerous connections to the Singularity. I won't name them. Not because I don't trust you, but they have told me these things in confidence, and I have no cause to not believe them.
[If Julie or Rhy have ever spoken to Alucard of their own accord, then what's done is done. But as Jaskier promised to destroy Alucard's blood and did so when it went unused, so too will he protect their connections.] They have seen visions of gods in what we can only assume are other planes of existence. Other... spheres, I suppose. And I have seen something similar myself. These visions appear to come directly from the Singularity itself, which I've... I've spoken to the thing, in a manner of speaking. I understand this monolith is a sort of... [And here, his hands move through the air, though he's gesticulated almost every word because this, this insanity, is now proliferating nearly every day.] An entity itself. A thinking, acting creature. Itself, or something inside of it. Think about it. If the gods are connected directly to the Singularity, and only the Summoned have any connection to it beyond them, and the Singularity has granted us powers beyond what we have ever had at home... it sort of all flows together, when you think of it.
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Alucard listens.
Alucard bites back the comments that rise to his throat about oh, the rock has opinions now, does it? because they're defensive and childish. Deflecting from the fact that Jaskier trusts him with this and that he's sharing things that are incredibly, incredibly private.
And that leaves him quiet for a long time. It is a lot to take in, and while he might dismiss godhood out of hand due to his own immense bias for wanting religion to just stop being so important, he can understand Jaskier's logic. One doesn't have to like a conclusion to understand how one might draw it.]
Yes, I can see how that...[Another thought jumps into his own mind.] And here I had been reflecting on the fact that the two individuals who helped us escape from Thorne have yet to ever reappear.
[Jaskier could very well be right at this rate.]
It still doesn't mean I'm not worried about an attempt like this.
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Gods are just very powerful demons, by definition. And is not even Jaskier himself so many more times powerful -- if one only regarded his magic -- than he was on the Continent?
Jaskier blinks, surprised. Now that... he hasn't thought of them in a long while.]
I suppose they could be gods, too.
[But if he would guess, they were only mages. Mages that were dead, probably.]
I know. It's not meant to assuage all of your fears, because I'm afraid I cannot do that. But I do want you to understand what the stakes are to me.
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[Alucard exhales, leaning back into his chair. Now that the dramatics are done, he feels a little ridiculous being ensconced in the damn thing.]
Will you let me help and keep an eye on things when you attempt contact then?
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If that magic changes him this much, will it continue? How much further can it go?]
As what? A witness? [He can't help but rib him a little.] I would be quite remiss to commit such an act entirely on my own. If I set up a proper ritual, once I've figured out how, you'll know. I promise.
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[The next part formulates as Alucard opens his mouth, the whole of the thing feeling fairly straightforward from where he sits.]
Let me help not only find the right way to do this, but plan for contingencies if something goes awry. That way you can focus on the act of this and I can account for any issues that might arise. Everyone is better prepared, which increases the chance of success.
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There's a bit of a method to that.
Jaskier raises a brow.] Where do you intend on researching such things? You're not intending on spending the next week in the academy's libraries, are you? And here I was ready to take it all with a healthy dose of risk.
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First, by following up with Himeka and also Wanda, in case she had any perspective to give. Then going to the museums and asking about objects that might be in storage. Then actually sitting down with you and figuring out where this is going to happen and when.
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Jaskier purses his lips, but to be fair, he doesn't have much objection to it. He doesn't know Wanda well and finds her rather standoffish, but Himeka he fully trusts, and he has some indication they know each other. Honestly, he trusts Himeka would very much like to keep Jaskier alive.]
Very well. I'll give you the time you need before I do anything dashing and possibly insanely dangerous. See? I've being very reasonable about all of this.
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[Look Jaskier with Gideon gone, you're all he's got.]
Did you have a deity in mind for this?
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[He's not going anywhere. Hopefully.]
Two, actually. [He raises one finger as he lists them:] Vimorskas, for one. A deity that Himeka has already made some sort of contact with. My information is limited, but I have some trust Himeka well enough when she says she has had positive interactions with them. A safe enough start, as a deity of nature. Considering my ability to grow and encourage flora, I feel we have some shared interests.
The second: you've surely heard my song about Lyfbringr. The tales I've heard come straight from the Solvunnites themselves. A patron saint of bountiful harvests, life, and love. Honestly, if we're being less than objective, I already feel a bit of a... connection. Perhaps they have even heard my song. I would like to think it's a good first impression.
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[The dry humor is an attempt to cover up something much more real and raw, something Alucard doesn't want to delve into fully at the moment.
He considers both options. Alucard isn't surprised his friend wants to talk to a subject of a greatest hit, but it is a level of ego that somehow surprises the dhampir. Truly, it knows no bounds.
There's probably an easy way to do this.]
Perhaps it would be easiest to start with Vimorskas. With Himeka already having made contact, there is an easy route to get there and the promise of safety along with common ground. A known quantity to be sure, and you could perhaps ask about the Lyfbringr as well and get a god-to-god sense of him. Plus we could meet with Himeka in the Horizon and ask her to show us the steps.
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Ah, yes, I believe picking the one less likely to turn me into a newt or something is the better choice. Even if it appears they don't really speak. Vimorskas, at least. [From what he's garnered from Himeka and his own studies.
A bit annoying Thorne was so devoid of information. Honestly, he truly would not mind a trip to Solvunn simply for access to their potential research materials. If they... well, if they even have libraries.
He's seen a bit of it, and even compared to Thorne, Solvunn can be comfortably called old-fashioned. Outdated, even.] You can't be thinking the gods will gossip about each other? [He pauses.] To be fair, that would be extremely fun.
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Good, we're in agreement about the workflow.
[They're gonna just hang out with plants. Even Alucard can live with that without having a heart attack.
The question causes Alucard's eyebrows to lift slowly.]
Do...gods in your world not have petty rivalries, jealousies, and act a little over the top to the point of pulling mortals into their lives?
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Of course there are plenty of tales. But there is pa reason most on the Continent now ascribe to Melitele. For what else is there? The zealotry of the White Flame? The elves' old, long-forgotten gods? Even the monoliths were created by dwarves, not shaped by divine purpose. ]
The gods are hardly real, Alucard. Not as far as I can tell. There's plenty to believe and trust in, but I've yet to see any myself. There's monsters, prophecies -- true ones, even! -- and ghosts, and separate spheres and planes of existence. And yet the safest things to trust in are myself and my muses. As much as I once subscribed to the idea of Destiny... I don't know. It's much harder to hold onto now. And to recall the horrors I have seen -- I do not like to imagine they were decided upon long ago.
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[It is a very practical sort of approach that Jaskier's articulated One Alucard can respect, and it explains some of the undercurrents of the bard's attempts to reach out to the supposed divine here.]
Sypha's people can send information from the future back to the past through methods I don't quite understand. I would never call that Destiny, but it's as close to the concept as I'm comfortable with. There's a lot to be said for one's own sense of certainty and choice above all other things.
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[And the cultists he once accidentally stumbled upon on the Continent also spring to mind. That was a very awkward day for him. There are certainly influences of the beings the people here believe to be gods -- Adelwyrd is still a very heavy topic with him -- but he cannot imagine them as something more than creatures who have twisted chaos in ways that are extremely powerful. Perhaps near-incomprehensible.]
That is... utterly bizarre. Though I suppose that's just a prophecy with more words. And, like you, I prefer thinking of the free will of man more than what cosmic powers choose for us.
Even if they sometimes definitely choose. With a certain sense of humour.
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[Everyone's just human, in the end. Or at least, they were.]
In one case, I think it is just Sypha making sure we all meet each other at the right time. [All the warmth is gone at the last comment, and the dhampir lets out a soft snort.]
Destiny isn't real, until it feels like being a jester. That sounds about right.
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He doesn't see why that should be different with human... gods.
The Singularity, as the fae warned him, is different. It actually does feel incomprehensible. It is not human. An alien, sentient thing, that seems to directly control them.
So. The first step should be the simpler one.]
Well. They call Destiny a bitch for a reason. Not that I would ever lower myself to such vulgar language.
I think we can wrap this?