Recently, then. It must be... difficult, he imagines, to not be there to ensure that peace persists. And that he should be here instead, embroiled in another conflict that none of them asked for, after only just escaping the last.
Ah. A hero's work is never done. Isn't that right?
"Gripped in that need for retribution even at his final moments." As Estinien said, if the betrayal was as raw and real in that moment as it was at its occurrence... then surely it was a miracle that he may have found rest at all.
Bleh. He scrubs his face again, righting it with the magic of the Horizon. There. Like it never happened at all. (And yet, how his heart is sore for them.) "I suppose you cannot fully know what a soul feels once it is released. I would not want to give up on what I thought was right for someone I loved, either." He takes a breath. And to think, someone like Estinien carried this with him? It must be... a lot. "I do thank you for showing me. I never would have been able to imagine it. That it would be so overwhelming."
It's something he's worried about on many nights, especially so soon after releasing Tiamat from her bondage. He'd like to know how she fairs, how the Scions fair, how Aymeric and Ishgard fair. He wishes he could help them. It's all he can do to try to pour everything into helping them from here.
He wishes he had a better idea of where to start. He'd do anything, if only he knew what needed to be done.
Estinien nods his head soberly, though a bit of a smile flickers onto his face at the end. It's nice that Jaskier still wanted to hear it, no matter how unpleasant it could be. He'd like to believe that Nidhogg found some measure of peace in the aetherial sea, or wherever it was that dragons went. It has always felt somehow unfair to him that Nidhogg passed, miserable and desperate, while he was given a chance to live and move on.
"Aye," he says, seeming charmed by Jaskier's take despite the grim thoughts associated with it. "It can certainly be that. I've... been trying to do what you recommended." He almost sounds shy to admit it. His wings spread slightly before folding back in. "To test my bond with his spirit, while here, in a place of safety. 'Tis... getting easier, with time."
It felt somehow appropriate to give Nidhogg that chance to speak through him just now. He's satisfied to have done it. If he can do that, maybe it will be less overwhelming to have him clawing at the back of his mind the next time he ends up in a stressful situation.
Jaskier's head jerks up in surprise. What? Is this starting some new sort of trend where people take his advice? (To be fair, he wouldn't have blamed Estinien for ignoring him. He was sort of speaking from a place of ignorance, as far as his sphere's dragons are concerned.
"Really?" His voice is soft, and Jaskier meets his face with a smile. It sounded all right, embracing one's inner dragon. It simply made sense. Who wanted to be at war with themselves all the time?
A hand comes over his heart, and he laughs, quiet. "Fuck. I'm glad to hear it, really. That I could help. Or -- well, really, I think you helped yourself. And now look at what the two of you can do."
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cointosser) wrote2021-04-12 08:58 pm
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Ah. A hero's work is never done. Isn't that right?
"Gripped in that need for retribution even at his final moments." As Estinien said, if the betrayal was as raw and real in that moment as it was at its occurrence... then surely it was a miracle that he may have found rest at all.
Bleh. He scrubs his face again, righting it with the magic of the Horizon. There. Like it never happened at all. (And yet, how his heart is sore for them.) "I suppose you cannot fully know what a soul feels once it is released. I would not want to give up on what I thought was right for someone I loved, either." He takes a breath. And to think, someone like Estinien carried this with him? It must be... a lot. "I do thank you for showing me. I never would have been able to imagine it. That it would be so overwhelming."
no subject
He wishes he had a better idea of where to start. He'd do anything, if only he knew what needed to be done.
Estinien nods his head soberly, though a bit of a smile flickers onto his face at the end. It's nice that Jaskier still wanted to hear it, no matter how unpleasant it could be. He'd like to believe that Nidhogg found some measure of peace in the aetherial sea, or wherever it was that dragons went. It has always felt somehow unfair to him that Nidhogg passed, miserable and desperate, while he was given a chance to live and move on.
"Aye," he says, seeming charmed by Jaskier's take despite the grim thoughts associated with it. "It can certainly be that. I've... been trying to do what you recommended." He almost sounds shy to admit it. His wings spread slightly before folding back in. "To test my bond with his spirit, while here, in a place of safety. 'Tis... getting easier, with time."
It felt somehow appropriate to give Nidhogg that chance to speak through him just now. He's satisfied to have done it. If he can do that, maybe it will be less overwhelming to have him clawing at the back of his mind the next time he ends up in a stressful situation.
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"Really?" His voice is soft, and Jaskier meets his face with a smile. It sounded all right, embracing one's inner dragon. It simply made sense. Who wanted to be at war with themselves all the time?
A hand comes over his heart, and he laughs, quiet. "Fuck. I'm glad to hear it, really. That I could help. Or -- well, really, I think you helped yourself. And now look at what the two of you can do."